Friday, September 8, 2006
My First Time
I approached a my first Venture Capitalist recently, and feel like I barely survived a shipwreck. Here is the story: As I approached the office, the only available parking space was 1/4 mile from the front door - and it was pouring rain. I made a run for it, but the rain soaked me to my underwear, and drenched all my important papers. I finally arrive inside this impressive space with marble floors, columns, and beautiful secretaries. They ask me to wait, and kindly avoided commenting on my appearance. After dripping water all over the waiting room magazines, this impeccably dressed man came out and asked me to follow him to his office to talk. He looked like a million bucks. We took a detour to a Starbucks located within the building, during which he asked me various complex math questions about my business - he didn’t seem to care what the business was. I was getting a little nervous because I couldn’t answer many of his questions, and we finally arrived back at his office. Behind his head, was a huge photo of a lion surrounding him like a halo, and wall sized windows that amplified the sound of the lightning storm outside. As he proceeded to rip into me, I noticed he had unusually large teeth, like in those vampire movies. I sat their shaking and sipping my coffee. After the thrashing, he told me to have a nice weekend, and showed me the door. I thanked him profusely for his time. Due to the anxiety and the coffee, I went to the restroom to relieve myself. And here’s the worst part: my coffee had been leaking heavily down the front of my shirt the whole time, like a brown waterfall! But I was so nervous and wet that I didn’t notice. Perhaps I’ll get better next time.
Wish me well.
posted by cjagers at 12:39pm
10 Comments Add your own
1. Catherine | September 8th, 2006 at 1:23 pm
This painful/funny to read. You will get better, and soon you’ll be the guy sitting in front of the lion and some pour rain-soaked sap is going to be shaking in his boots to come talk to you!
2. cjagers | September 8th, 2006 at 3:49 pm
Note to self: Buy the largest photo of a lion that I can find.
3. Lael Sale | September 8th, 2006 at 5:44 pm
Wow-that’s rough. Sorry friend. That was hard to read, but I have to laugh. It seems like everything that happens between age 25 and 35 must be this way. I can’t wait until I’m 40. Although there may be legal ramifications, you should consider an actual taxidermied lions head to put on your wall. That ought to do it. You could even stap it to your car or something. By the way my web sit is up and I put you on it as a link. Go check it out; http://www.laelsale.com
4. cjagers | September 8th, 2006 at 5:56 pm
Hi Lael,
Sorry about being MIA, I’ve been so busy I haven’t even seen my family lately. I like your “real” lion head idea, much better!
5. Steven LaRose | September 9th, 2006 at 2:28 am
I’ve met that lion head guy before. He’s kinda-prick at first but, actually, when you figure out that he is really insecure, naive, and kinda sweet, he’ll give you anything.
6. chris | September 9th, 2006 at 5:59 am
Steven,
That is pretty hard to imagine … i’m trying …. nope.
7. Steven LaRose | September 9th, 2006 at 10:32 am
Sarcasam is so hard for me to pull off well in the first place, I should never try and use it in print.
8. KJ | September 11th, 2006 at 7:17 am
I think your best asset is the ability to look at the situation honestly, factually, and most importantly, comically. You have a base experience now… the only direction is up. Thanks for sharing the whole scenario, good luck getting your new business up and running. (Great suggestions about having your own lion head!)
9. highlowbetween | September 12th, 2006 at 4:13 pm
funny and depressing. Look at it this way - you “popped yer__”
so you can assess and move forward. Chances are this was not going to be the best fit anyway - its the first guy you approached - you need to speak with many more. Remember this is as much your choice as theirs - keep the upper hand. These guys respond to confidence and as anyone who has ever touched the vicinity of finance - its largely smoke and mirrors. Keep plugging and buy an umbrella
10. Matthew Brown | October 24th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
I love your story- it made me laugh outloud. It reminds me of Dudley Moore in the movie “Ten.” One of the funniest movies ever. Best dental humor, followed by anesthetic while drinking coffee while beautiful woman watches humor. You’ve got to rent that movie. I have romanced the idea of seeking venture capital for years. I have access to lots of deep pockets - I just need to put my plans and dreams into usable format. I also need to figure out the business plan and especially the ROI for my investors. Then, all I need is for my kids to get a little older when I will choose to funnel my energy into the venture. Then, I need to be ready to step away from my bread and butter small business. Thanks for posting your journey for all to see. It really helps.
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